'Fostering' your children

Those of you who watched the recent series of Doctor Foster on television will have witnessed the harrowing experience of Tom as he was torn apart by his divorced parents. For those that didn’t see the series, Tom was a teenage boy caught in the middle of his parents post divorce battle. The final episode saw Tom, sadly no longer able to cope, leaving home and his parents left to reflect on how they failed to protect him and prioritise what, certainly Doctor Foster realised too late, was the most important person.

Unfortunately, Tom’s fictional experience is far too often the reality of what children experience when their parents separate.



  1. Don't involve your children in grown up matters.
  2. Don't argue in front of the children.
  3. Don't rely on your children for emotion support, you are there to look after them, not the other way around.
  4. Don't blame the other parent. Remember that children only have one mother and one father, they want that person to be special and someone to look up to.
  5. Don't make your child the messenger, If you have something to say to your ex-partner then deliver the message yourself.
  6. Don't grill your child after spending time with the other parent, just ask general questions such as did they have a good time.
  7. Don't expect your children to take sides; let them love both parents.
  8. Do behave in front of your children how you would like them to behave in front of others.
  9. Do seek professional help if you are struggling emotionally.
  10. Do re-assure them. They may be worried about having to change schools or move away from their friends. Talk to them in an age appropriate way.
  11. Do make time to listen to them.
  12. Do think about things from your child's perspective.


Jane and Sam at Davisons Solicitors understand the difficulties that all families face when relationships break down. We can help you understand the legal process and take you through the divorce. Whilst it is not an easy emotional ride, we can help put your mind at rest with expert advice tailored to your individual circumstances, thereby alleviating some of your concerns. This should enable you to concentrate on what is important, the children.

If you would like to speak to us about your concerns or need help with a relationship breakdown, please contact Jane Chandler, Associate Solicitor on 0121 685 8126 or by email at J.Chandler@qsdavisons.com or Sam Kent, Head of Solihull Family Team on 0121 289 3599 or by email S.Kent@qsdavisons.com quoting ref no "live24/5".



Posted in: Family

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